$460 PG&E Bill

How did it get so high? A Rant.

Just a short note to gripe about my utilities bill. How the f@ck did it get this high?

Yes, I have an electric vehicle. But I’ve had it for a dozen years, and I drive it only about 50 miles a month, and charge it at midnight when the rates are lowest. So that ain’t it.

Yes, my partner Misha runs a little electric heater all day long to warm her room to 92 degrees where she is comfortable. But I calculated the cost of that a couple of years ago and it was about $100/month. So that’s a contributing factor, but really…

So I go on the PG&E website to log into my account and see the detailed bill. (I am on paperless billing, being all ecological minded and such. That’s why I cannot understand that global warming is still happening, when I have an EV and do paperless billing.)

Wait, before I log in, I spot a special section that says, in big letters:

WHY IS MY BILL SO HIGH?

Well there you go! I click it. A little message pops up that says, “Gas prices have really gone up, so you may see an increase in your bill of up to 34%.”

Cool. I mean, bad, but yes, I’ve read about gas prices getting out of hand, what with us exporting all our LNG. But wait, I don’t get gas from PG&E. I live in the woods and have a propane tank. (Last propane tank refill: $900. Another gripe.) I only get electricity from them. And most of California’s electricity is generated by hydro power.* So WTF?

And so I log into my account. Well, I don’t log into my account. All I get is a message that says, “This account has ben cancelled.” I imagine because I it has been years since I logged in. So I try to register for a new account. But I need my account number, which I don’t have because I have no paper bills to look at.

No problem! I click the link for “Look up account number.” Cool. I fill in my name, the service address, my social security number, and the value of pi to 16 digits.** (If you get pi right, it assumes you are a bot.) Almost there, one last field to fill. “Enter your meter number.” What the???? “Click here to see how to find your meter number.” Okay, but it is pouring rain outside. I am not going out to my meter just now.

Later, in a break in the rain, I go out to my meter. I copy down the 10-digit meter number. Or is it the 9-digit number in a different place, same font, same size, no label on either number? So I copy that down too.

I go through the whole rigamarole again until I get to the field to enter my meter number. I put in the 9-digit meter number. It doesn’t like it. I put in the 10-digit meter number. It crunches for a while and comes up with, “There is already an account for that data.” Sure there is. But it is cancelled, right?

So I call customer service. I hear a long message that finally gets to: “You know what, it is raining really hard outside. We’re just awfully busy fixing lines and taking outage calls. Would you please call back at a different time?” Okay, I don’t need to do this right this minute.

And that’s where I’m at. Wondering my bill is so high, and wondering how to find out. Oh, also, with no electricity at all. We’re in the third day of a power outage presumably caused by the California rainstorms.

— Lannie Rose, January 2023
preferred pronouns: she/her/hers

* No, it’s not. The New York Times published this chart, showing that natural gas is by far the largest source of electricity generation in the state. In this reference, PG&E in particular reports generating more than twice as much electricity from gas as from hydro in 2019. So that probably accounts for my energy bill. But it kind of spoils the rant, doesn’t it?

** 3.14159265358979