I am Pro-Abortion and Pro Open Borders
Yet another out-of-the-box climate change solution
[POV disclosure: I am a childless, privileged, white U.S. citizen, registered Green Party. Sadly, I was birthed not adopted by my parents.]
As I may have mentioned from time to time, global climate change is killing us and the root cause is overpopulation. We urgently need to drastically reduce the number of humans on the planet. Previously, thinking out of the box, I suggested that we should encourage suicide and even have government-run pleasant, painless, and free suicide booths, à la the movie Soylent Green. Today’s out-of-the-box proposal is similar: In order to reduce the population, we should actively promote abortion. Abortions should be free, paid for by our taxes. As with suicide, we should proclaim a person/couple who has an abortion to be an ecological hero for helping to keep the population size under control.
As an ovbious first step, we need to make abortion once again legal in all 50 states. Please vote on Tuesday, November 8, 2022!
Please vote on Tuesday, November 8, 2022!
In addition, contraceptives and abortion pills should be distributed for free, without need for a prescription, through pharmacies and drugstores. They should be available for free by mail like we could, until recently, get COVID test kits. If some people misuse the drugs and accidentally (or on purpose!) kill themselves, that is an additional bonus, population-reduction-wise. But we’d better not pay a cash bonuses to people who have abortions because some people, undoubtably, will get pregnant specifically to earn abortion bonuses, and that helps nothing.
Besides making abortion itself safe, legal, and plentiful, we also need to change the story we tell around parenthood. Being a parent should be portrayed realistically: as a great burden and huge sacrifice. It should be chosen only by those people who really, really want it, and who can afford it. Parents should be pitied, not honored. Grandparents should feel guilty as generational failures. But children themselves should be loved and lavished with education, nutrition, and support.
Another key part of the new story around parenthood is that adoption should be quick, easy, and free, though prospective adoptive parents should still be thoroughly screened to assure that they can provide loving and well resourced homes for the children. Adoption should be lauded as preferable to pregnancy. Potential grandparents should nag their children with “When are you going to adopt?” rather than “When are you going to get pregnant?” Children should be proud to say, “I was adopted,” and embarrassed to say, “My parents birthed me.” If someone dares to announce that they are pregnant, our first question should be “Do you have your abortion scheduled yet?” rather than “When are you due?” (Or “Who is the father?” LOL)
The population-lowering potential of free and widespread abortion and adoption is obvious. Fewer babies carried to term means fewer people in the world, as well as fewer unwanted children, fewer children in poverty, and fewer unhappy, over-stressed parents. Everybody wins! Even the aborted foetuses (if you are one who believes they are people) win, because they will not live to experience the horrors of our climate-change driven ecological and societal collapse.
Fewer babies carried to term means fewer people in the world, as well as fewer unwanted children, fewer children in poverty, and fewer unhappy, over-stressed parents.
Some folks think that we need more people, not fewer, for a variety of reasons. For example, some people want to see higher birthrates of a particular race so that race can maintain numerical dominance versus other races. If you are one of those people, fuck you, you racist.
A morally-defensible reason to worry about shrinking population size is that an aging population means fewer young working people to support more older people dependent on Medicare and Social Security. (My pro-abortion proposal exacerbates this problem while my pro-suicide program mitigates it.) Note that the Medicare and Social Security programs are not government largesse, they are government-run insurance programs that we pay into all our working lives. However, unlike private insurance companies, these programs do not save and invest our premiums to generate returns that fund the payouts and profits. The Medicare and Social Security programs are run as Ponzi schemes, where the early investors are paid benefits from the premiums of the new investors; therefore, if the number of new investors does not keep increasing faster than the number of beneficiaries, the programs rapidly go bankrupt.
Fortunately, I have a solution to this potential problem for the social safety net, as you can see from this article’s title. Let’s open our borders to massive immigration and grow our population of taxpayers that way! (Growing the population of the United States by opening our borders does NOT increase the world population, it just moves population around geographically.)
The way it works is this: We open our borders to all immigrants from all countries and create a quick and easy path to citizenship. Oh, I don’t mean that we literally take down the border crossings and pretend we do not have borders. We still need to interdict drugs, weapons, and other contraband. We need to do background checks to weed out the worst criminals and terrorists. (The criminals and terrorists are still welcome if they like, but they go straight into prison. They may choose this path anyway if it constitutes an improvement in their life circumstances, such as getting out of a war zone. We also need to reform our prisons and make them places of rehabilitation rather than the hell holes they currently are.) We need to do medical checks and get sick, diseased persons promptly into hospitals with first-class medical care (using our new Medicare-for-all program, which we must enact). But everyone, come on in and join us as United States citizens. Together, we will Make American Great, perhaps for the first time ever.
Whoa! Hold on there!, I hear you saying. Your open borders would mean a drastic increase in our country’s population, with foreigners taking our jobs and straining our social safety net. I have two answers that overcome these naïve objections. One, they will not be foreigners because we grant them citizenship, so shut up, they are entitled to jobs and benefits and every other blessing our country offers, and every responsibility too, because they are the same as you and me. With open borders, we will gain many more young working people than old retired people because young people are mobile and old people prefer to stay in their homelands if possible. Thus, our social safety net is saved from bankruptcy.
Will we get some lay-abouts and ne’er-do-wells? Of course we will. Every population has them. But they will be vastly outnumbered by good, honest, hard-working people who will be grateful for the opportunity and enthusiastic about bettering themselves and this country. Exactly what we need to shore up the social safety net programs, mitigate the climate-change crisis (and the facism crisis), and strengthen our country in every way. I wager they will even motivate some of our native lay-abouts and ne’er-do-wells to get on the ball and contribute to society.
The other answer to your well-meaning-but-wrong-headed population increase objections is this: We owe it to the world to atone for (or compensate for, if you don’t like the moral implications) our climate crimes. So fuck us if we suffer! We won’t suffer nearly as much as those in developing countries who are suffering and will continue to suffer from climate change caused by our profligate carbon emissions. We did it. It is only just that we should pay the price. So, climate change refugees, come on in! All of you! Refugees from wars, which are mostly driven by climate change these days, come on in! All of you! Victims of U.S. economic imperialism, come on in! All of you! We will work together with you here, in the richest country in the history of the world, to mitigate and endure the catastrophes inflicted by our climate crimes, our imperialism, our weapons manufacturing, and our war-mongering. Be our brothers and sisters, be citizens of the U.S.A., and we will get through this together.
It’s funny (maybe even ha-ha funny) that some of the lies Republican tell about Democrats are actually good policy proposals. Republicans say that Democrats are pro-abortion meaning the way that I am pro-abortion, but they are not; Democrats are pro-choice, which is a different thing altogether. But pro-abortion is a good, sound, perhaps even necessary policy proposal. Repubs say that Dems are for open borders, but they are not; they are for controlled borders just like Republicans, but, unlike Repubs, Dems support our on-the-books immigation and amnesty laws and policies. But open borders is a great policy proposal to keep our social safety net strong and for climate change justice. Sometimes those Republicans are just so stupid and mendacious that they accidentally make sense!
NEXT TIME: The excellent Repulican policy of NOT following public health guidelines when a virulent infectious disease ravages the land. PREVIEW: Ivermectin? Brilliant! Drinking chlorine? Inspired! UV light up my ass? Why didn’t I think of that?!!
— Lannie Rose, October 2022
preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
