One of the ways that people are different is that for some people, the social (let us call it) is more important than the biological, and for some people the biological is more important than the social. For example, I’ve asked this question of quite a few transsexual people: “If you had to choose, would you rather (A) have people accept you socially as your preferred gender, but you keep your original genitals, or (B), you can change your genitals but socially people will still treat you as the gender on your birth certificate.” Results of my scientifically invalid sample are (1) everyone finds it easy to answer the question, and (2) the answers number about evenly for both choices. Likewise, I think some people’s sexual attraction is strongly genital-oriented, while other people are more socially oriented. You, Jonathan, are obviously a genitals person, but don’t jump to the conclusion that everyone must be the same as you!