The Greatest Show On Television: Floor Is Lava
Floor Is Lava is the best show on Netflix right now, and quite possibly the best show ever produced for television on any channel. Just from the show’s title, you already know what it is. Who among you (privileged enough to grow up in a house with furniture) didn’t play “The floor is lava!” as a kid? You know, where you have to navigate from one side of the room to the other without touching the floor, by climbing over whatever furniture is available? When your parents aren’t around, of course! Well that, obviously, is exactly what Floor Is Lava is. Except in this case, the floor is literally lava! Or a reasonable facsimile thereof. :-)
Floor Is Lava is a game show pitting three-person teams against each other to navigate across a room filled with furniture, toys, and lots of other stuff. Each team navigates the room separately. The winner is the team that gets the most people across the room successfully, that is, without falling in the lava. If teams get the same number of people across, then whichever team did it in the least amount of time wins.
How does the show set this up? They got themselves a smallish warehouse and made it up like a fantasy version of a room you might see in a regular house. Okay, like a room you might see in a rich person’s house in a movie. For fun, the furniture and other props are way oversized. Then they filled the room with 80,000 gallons of red goo that they call lava. Check out this photo for a team moving across an artifact display room.
To make it across the room takes a certain amount of physical strength, solving some easy puzzles, and a lot of jumping (usually belly-flopping) onto a slimy prop four or five feet away. Jump too short, or lose your footing, or slip on something slimey, and into the lava you go!
The show is hosted by Rutledge Wood, a super-friendly, forty-something, jolly bearded guy who explains the rules: “There is only one rule! Don’t fall in because the FLOOR IS…” and everybody yells out, “LAVA!!!!” He narrates the action like a sports announcer, except with lots of goofy, bad puns.
The real key to what makes the show work is the contestants. They are a diverse bunch, men and women, mabye 18to 50 years old, Black, Latinix, white, gay, straight, nerd, bro, and everyman. They’re mostly just regular people, plus a handful of C-level celebs (especially in the very short Season 2), though often they may be more physically active than the average person. But physical strength and dexterity get you only so far in this game: I’ve seen gym monkeys and ballet dancers disappear into the lava. But here’s thing: The teams play in earnest, but it’s all for fun and pure joy. No one is desparate to win. Everybody encourages everybody else. Everybody shrieks “Oh noooooo!” or groans “Awwwww!” when a player sinks into the lava, never to be seen again. (Except for a few minutes later when the team joins the host to dry off and watch the next team’s effort. I don’t know how they do that. I guess they just tell the contestants to stay under the lava for as long as they can, and the camera cuts away before they surface. It’s a pretty good illusion. I guess I could google it, but that would spoil it.)
The contestants on each team know each other. They may be family members, co-workers, friends, or whatever. Each team (with a little help from the show’s writers, probably) picks a name that reflects some characteristic of its members, like the Tennis Trio, the Little League Dads, and Latin Heat. The team name/theme provides lots of material for the host’s bad puns!
Why is this the best show on television? Because it is cheesy and dumb and silly and childlike fun, and you can imagine yourself doing the course just like those guys. (I could never be an American Gladiator but I bet I could make it across a room. I was pretty good at it as a kid!) Let’s face it, television isn’t a medium for great art. You watch it for entertainment, you take bathroom breaks and get yourself snacks, and you probably gab with the family members or friends you are watching with. You’ve invited the TV people into your very own living room or den or bedroom. Sure, there have been lots of prestige TV (and HBO, which apparently is not TV) and a multitude of beloved characters such as Lucy Ricardo and Archie Bunker and Lisa Simpson who became part of our lives and almost members of our families. But a TV show is not a “film”, it is not a symphony, it is not a painting or a sculpture that belongs in a museum. It’s just TV. Something dumb and fun that everyone can enjoy, and that you don’t need to pay much attention to, that is TV’s sweet spot. Floor Is Lava hits the bulls-eye.
I don’t think Floor Is Lava is the kind of show that can hold up over a long run, so catch the few short seasons that exist. Give it a try. (Did I mention that it is streaming on Netflix?) Even if it is not your cup of tea, I can guarantee that you will have fun. Or double your money back! (Note: This article is not behind Medium’s firewall.)
—Lannie Rose, October 2022
